Our No-Nonsense Citizen Kumapayi; FRSC’s ‘Brazilian Hair’ Cutter
Francis Abayomi
Comedies have become a prominent feature of national affairs in Nigeria; enjoying free rein with seamless transmission. More than playing out as coping strategy for the hard-hitting recession, there is something peculiarly Nigerian in these unending dramas by our public officials. Interestingly, these dramas are fast evolving into a preoccupation of some sort and drawing a large army of followers. Almost on a daily basis, different shades of comedies emerge in the conduct of public affairs to offer some reliefs; consciously and otherwise. As the dramas unfold, citizens are left with no option than keep the conversation going about the aesthetics while the essentials are left unattended by those entrusted with the mandate or charged with responsibilities of leadership.
Although last week was filled with earful revelations, it would have, all the same, ended a huge boredom of tragic drama with discoveries of ‘abandoned’ or ‘planted’ loot by the Economic and Financial Crime Commission (EFCC). But for the comic relief from the Federal Road Service Corps (FRSC) featuring one its employee in the name of Andrew Kumapayi as the lead actor, Nigerians with the unusual knack for credulity would have been left with no alternative than struggle with what to believe regarding the growing confusion over the true identity of the real owner of a large sum of money discovered in various currencies at a private apartment in Ikoyi, Lagos.
When the news broke that a fellow citizen and a high ranking road safety marshal in the garden city of Portharcourt has done the unusual in public glare, not a few who have learnt to be circumspect about trending news on social media thought it was a huge joke. Why we were still hoping someone would dismiss the episode as Photoshop or better still ‘Videoshop’, alas it turned out to be real, so graphical and so tellingly factual! Mr. Andrew Kumapayi, Sector Commander of the Federal Road Safety Corps in Rivers State, stunned us and the rest of the world with his ingenuity on how best to mete out punishment to erring female officers under his command.
But what exactly is it about our paramilitary agencies this time around that we are seeing more arrogance in such baleful display? While we are yet to fully digest the haughtiness of power as defended by supporters of Colonel Hammed Ali who has refused to wear the official uniform of the Nigerian Customs on the pretext that no law prescribes such condescending for a retired military officer, it would not be a surprise if some learned minds also rise to the defence of citizen Kumapayi on the pretext that no law prescribe how not to treat ladies who out their volition took appointment with FRSC or any other paramilitary agency for that matter. But shouldn’t we be concerned as to what else they do in FRSC besides ensuring our roads are safe? Who knows whether or not Mr. Kumapayi and his fellow male chauvinists have been indulging in trimming long nails of their female subordinates or even forcibly removing their offensive earrings on duty post? Anything could have been happening!
It is no longer news that a handful of overdressed, errant ladies; so it seems (and it shouldn’t matter they are married or not) who dared to flaunt their hairdo at work summarily had their Brazilian attachments cut to size with a pair scissors by their no nonsense boss. Thank goodness Mr. Kumapayi didn’t give those ladies thorough shaving and make them bareheaded to serve as deterrent to others about the seriousness of their misconduct. Nevertheless, the impudence of Mr. Kimapayi was as shocking as what appears to be the vulnerability of these ladies who should have protested and resisted the maltreatment or harassment by a fellow citizen who just happen to be their boss at work. What exactly was Mr. Kumapayi thinking about the husbands of these ladies or could it be that he thought they are so inconsequentially infinitesimal (to borrow the double barrel vocabulary from timeless epigram of late ace comedian; Sam Loko)? How could the ladies have submitted themselves to such open disrespect or abuse? Or are we dealing with a genre of Hitler who could neither be engaged nor confronted by superior logic by subordinates? Oh, FRSC is a paramilitary agency and so what?
While discussing this shameful development in the course of the week, a friend reminded me that the FRSC is indeed a paramilitary establishment that operates with strict rules of engagement where code of dressing is deemed to be sacrosanct. I then reminded my friend that Mr. Kumapayi’s action could not be a recognised practise by FRSC or any paramilitary establishment for that matter going by whatever rules enforceable. My friend could as well be right as to why we have to watch out for what legal minded defenders of any action under this change regime may have to say about this. After all, we are now used to excuses for actions and inactions of our public officials even when it is utterly unnecessary. The suspension of Mr. Kumapayi is not all that is needed. His highhandedness is a bad example which other public officials; particularly the nonsense specie who occupy vantage positions in public and private spaces must never be allowed to be repeated.
This articled first featured in HARDBEAT COLUMN of INDEPENDENT on SUNDAY, 16th April, 2017